danger us

Danger. I'm trying to understand my own fears, and I wonder if they come from danger. If I think about the activities I participate in with the highest levels of danger, driving my car comes to mind, the occasional mountain bike ride I take through Fantasy Island, and maybe throwing my body around at our weekly pickup football game. These are possibly the most dangerous practices I have, but they don't really cause me any fear. Rather, they don't cause me any of the mind-crippling fear that inhibits action. I'll tell you what does cause me fear, a new job. I fear big time whether I'll like it, whether it will make me happy. But where's the "danger"? They probably don't haze new employees by stabbing them with shivs on days one, two, and three. Most likely they won't cook me up and eat me for poor job performance. And presumably they don't have the corporate policy of "jumping me out" gang style if I decide to quit. Maybe it's mental harm I'm looking to avoid. But a long time ago Sister Gilliland taught me that I'm the one in charge of the way I feel. Perhaps I need to employ these two sayings. 1. "Grin and bear it" and 2. "Fake it 'til you make it".  

ghoul spoof

Playing dress up isn't just for girls. Although it's been a historically female practice, there is one day a year when all participate on a grand scale; and that day is Halloween. Moreover, it's not really "one day". Halloween falls on a Monday this year so most of the festivities I've been told about are actually taking place on the weekend nights leading up to the day of spookiness. Therefore, there are a few days a year when costumes are kosher. Many good things come from Halloween: oodles of sugary delicious candy (that was my absolute favorite part as a kid, candy was as good as gold), those clever and ridiculous costumes that always entertain, and probably the most important thing, Tracy Jordan's hit Halloween themed Bar Mitzvah classic "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah". I say enjoy the holiday! Rack your brain and come up with the best costume you can muster! Whether you go minimalist or all out, you're certain to draw some praise. Here's to the spoofing of ghouls, goons, and celebrities alike! To scrumptious delights consumed in dim light! Here's to us, and everyone, interested in some late October Halloween fun!

pinning hopes

I never feel more helpless than when I watch the UofA Wildcats play. Be it football or basketball, I watch with anticipation, hope, and love. Sadly, that trio of fluffy feelings is often met by the harsh and heavy hand of reality, in the form of a loss. What happens next is, I become incensed. Pseudo expletives fly! My shrill voice pierces the air! Anger! Malice! Hate! Disdain! All because one team, out of hundreds, fails to win one game, out of dozens. These sporting events have a powerful effect on my emotions. I heard once that you shouldn't pin your hopes on outcomes you have no control over. In regards to sports fandom, I see it more as a double edged sword. If I want to experience the ecstatic elation of a big win, then it's only right that I make myself susceptible to the tormented sorrow of a disappointing loss. Perhaps I should take the lofty expectations I have for my beloved sports teams and turn them inward. If I expect excellence from them, then I can't expect any less from myself. Too often I settle for mediocrity. If I focus on attaining personal successes, their attainment will certainly outweigh any outside disappointments. Living a life of excellence, that's a good goal.

compound interest

Compound interest will either crush you or lift you up, financially speaking of course. The value of a "rented" dollar over time is wild. I don't want to rent money, I'd love to rent other people money; too bad I'm not a freaking bank! I stumbled upon khanacademy.org; it's dope. I watched the first two lessons under Finance about interest (I also watched one on the Bay of Pigs, that story is nuts!). These particular videos seemed too simple for me, but having the lesson develop in a basic way helped me appreciate the profound lesson. Watch the videos, then pay attention to the difference between 200 bones and 816 American dollars! Holy bejoly! That's a wide chasm. None of the interest I pay on my loans is simple; it's compounding folks. It can be a frightening realization. I'll tell you what, rather than owing Wells Fargo $125,000 and me owing them daily compounding interest, I'd like to have $125,000 in a fund and bank that interest myself. But that's a mortgage for ya huh? No wonder the Church has always counseled to get and stay out of debt. I've always known that making your money make money makes you rich, but now I know it. 

fossil fuels

"Dino DNA!" One of my favorite lines from a movie that, believe it or not, world premiered just this year. Jurassic Park was wildly successful. People dig dinosaurs; I loved them as a kid. One of the biggest treats of my small life was going to the dinosaur McDonald's in town. It was incredible!!! Why do we love these giant extinct reptilian behemoths? Is it the mystery? Or our inability to fathom their shear size and power? Does glimpsing their bones make us come face to face with our own mortality? I'm really not sure. In recent pop culture, I'd say they're losing some of their lofty status. I personally use dinosaur as a term of derision. I mean they're big, dumb, and prehistoric. "Freaking brontosaurus!", is definitely not going to be in response to a brilliant statement or act. Think about the term "fossil fuels". Dinosaurs now run our cars and our weed eaters, that's pathetic. Remember the show "Dinosaurs"? "Not the mama!" Those were the days when dinosaurs had respect.  


*This post brought to you today courtesy of Quotation Marks. "Quotations Marks: We got 'em, you need 'em!"

limited space

Why do I have so many things?...I recently moved to Tempe (turns out only temporarily), and I realized that I have too much stuff. I really didn't think that I had that much stuff. I'm not sure how I came to this summation; I was clearly in denial. For I have loved shopping since my formative years. I enjoy searching for and acquiring things, and I do it all the time. Always at rock bottom prices mind you; but nevertheless the low cost of an object does not affect it's occupation of limited real estate inside my tiny room or in the shed. I do give away old clothes and sometimes shoes. But I don't believe my wardrobe philanthropy is keeping up with my rampant raiment acquisition. In truth, I have purchased less clothing lately; do to my current financial situation (the blogging business just isn't what it used to be), and good sense. However, I still own way too much. I own movies on DVD like, "The Benchwarmers" and "Invincible". These are movies that I saw once in the cheapseats, half enjoyed, and will never go back and watch again. Why are they cumbering my limited space? I need to reevaluate the usefulness of my things, both those I have acquired and will acquire. Space is limited. 

american football

Football, is the greatest sport on the planet. Let me tell you why I love football. It's purely American. Football was made in the USA, and still is today. No other country, minus Canada, plays football successfully. And I think they are jealous of it. Just like we'd be jealous of India and cricket, if cricket was awesome and prepared men's hearts for battle and life. Secondly, football is the sport most likely to be favored by women, or for them to at least feign interest in. Most girls I know will sit and "watch" a football game, and they won't complain too much, and they might even enjoy it! In addition, every football game matters, you can't drop a few, or 60 like in baseball, and be okay. College bowl season, cheerleaders, fantasy leagues, "the previous play is under further review", kickoffs, college overtime system, jumbotrons, interceptions...I can't say enough about it. So let us rejoice! and be of good cheer! The long summer of only baseball and the women's world cup is over! Their rightful owners, Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit, and Lee Corso will reclaim Saturdays!  Bear Down Wildcats! Bear Down U of A! GO! GO! Wildcats GO! ARIZONA BEAR DOWN!

 

fairy dust

I have an affinity towards free stuff. Free is like a magical salsa or fairy dust; you sprinkle it on anything and it instantly becomes awesome. A lot of times all you have to do to get free stuff is ask. Once at a Wendy's outside Magic Mountain in CA, we got free burgers, fries, and drinks for our party of four, just by asking. Well, a wink and a smile might have helped that one along. Other times, you have to learn to work the system. I recently found a coupon for $10 off a purchase of at least $10 from Pier1 imports. Translation: I can walk in and walk out with $10 worth of wares sans cost. However, I've been down this road before. I had a similar coupon for Khol's once and couldn't find anything that I wanted for free. I'm wiser now, the magic fairy dust of free can make even mundane items awesome. Long story short, I wrangled $30 worth of wares gratis. Although, I could have gone bigger. There are two locations within 5 miles of my house. I could have quadrupled my "winnings" by visiting both locations twice daily, at opening and closing. Lesson learned, go big or go home. 

550 paracord

Free time leads to a few things: wasting time, ingenuity, laziness. My latest experience with ingenuity has to do with survival bracelets. I saw this the other day at REI and I'd seem them before, and I wanted one. What I didn't want was the $10 price tag. Swiftly I turned to google; couldn't a thrifty and crafty young man make his own survival bracelet while enjoying huge savings and taking some personal pride in his work? Even swifter came the reply, YES!!! I got my baby brother Dan onboard, and we got to work. BAM! Miller's Surplus had everything we needed (literally, they have gas masks, bayonets, MRE's). After setting up a temporary tying station and watching the instructional video on youtube a few times; Voila! Three bracelets for the low low price of...$3.70. That's with required state and local taxes people! Okay, you might question the usefulness of these bracelets in surviving; you've got a point. Let' say you're being eaten by a shark or falling from a plane without a parachute; an extra 8 feet of 550 paracord wrapped around your wrist isn't going to help you. But here are two important facts about me; I hate paying retail and I love to beat the system. Therefore, 1 fun project + baby brother Dan - $3.70 = :-)

balsa wood

There is a house in Tyler and Kylee's neighborhood selling right now for 55K, just 55 measly K! Now, this isn't a mansion that would be featured on cribs, but it's a nice modest home fit for a young chap like me. Problem is, I can't buy it. I'm not where I'd thought I'd be. Does that sound like your life? It's been ringing true a lot more for me lately. I feel that what I thought was going to happen in my life is like a sweet balsa wood plane. I put it together and sent it flying. But instead of flying swiftly and beautifully to completion and safety, someone smacked it out of the air trying to be funny! And now the fragile balsa wood wings are severely damaged. It can't fly. So I'm stuck; trying to engineer some new material from which to build the wings. But engineering ain't so bad, ask my brother-in-law or any dorky white Mormon guy down at the institute. You will recognize them immediately; they'll be wearing khaki shorts, a blah t-shirt, and either worn out white new balances or socks with sandals. Can't miss them. Style may elude these dudes, but at least they've got a career all locked-up.

"house rules"

Uno; a simple card game enjoyed by millions. I played it a lot more in childhood than in adulthood, but it's always been about getting rid of all your cards first. Once you did that, *BAM* winner winner chicken dinner, let's start a new round! Seems a little too simple and one-sided. In addition, I've seen it played countless different ways, but which way is right? Do you have to keep drawing until you get a card that you can use if you don't have a valid card to play? Do you lose your turn on a draw-two or draw-four card? Simple answer: read the rules, memorize the rules, play by the rules. After reading the rules, I want to play Uno. It could be an intense interesting card game with multiple rounds that count for something, and a healthy portion of strategy. In my experience "house rules" almost always cheapen gameplay and ruin the whole experience. Biggest example, Monopoly. Everyone hates Monopoly supposedly because it takes forever. I've finished games in under 90 minutes, multiple times. Wanna know how? We play strictly by the rules; they are quite thorough. Speaking of 90 minutes, shout out to my girls on the USWNT! Amazing game, outrageous finish, beautiful soccer! Booyah ladies!!!

Viking, anyone?...

Man, the Haka is impressive. What a display of manhood and strength! Alright, so slapping your hands and squatting doesn't seem like a huge demonstration of strength; but you can feel the power coming from these guys. Recently at a YSA Luau, just three Polynesian dudes performed it, and it was incredible. It really made me want to be Polynesian; to have a legacy of power and strength. Unfortunately, I don't have a single ounce of Polynesian blood in me. I asked my sister about our heritage; maybe we have some Viking or beefy Scandinavian heritage to lean on? "Nope, just boot-makers and razor-sharpeners", she says. What a colossal let down. Strength and power will have to be sought after and made in my bloodline; it is not a gift, simply given from my progenitors. I never know when to use a semicolon. I've used approximately four in this post and who knows if they're correct! Punctuation! Who needs it?!?! It's almost purely decorative. At this point, I say we replace those countless hours of grade school spent on punctuation, with instruction in Mandarin Chinese or UFC style mixed martial arts; I'm talking real world skills! Geez, another semicolon, that's five.

monsoon balloon

Breaking News!!! The first big monsoon rain just started at my parent's house (also my house, small technicality). It smelt so great as the rains rolled in. I saw the little grey water spots forming quickly on the cement of the front porch, and I really wanted to go out in it. So I did. It was glorious. I resisted the swift aqua assault at first, but then embraced the deluge. It was like a big outdoor shower. I wish I was naked standing in the front yard, the neighbors appreciated that I was clothed. I was wearing my sea foam green polo, seems apropos. Was it pure primal instinct to bask in the life-renewing water tonight? It felt that way. And now I won't need a real shower for another day, at least. Here's to rain in the Sonoran desert! Here's to renewal! Here's to freedom and burgertown! Burgertown can't be beat. 3.87 worth of American dollars gets you a delicious single, however you want it (I like mine with grilled onions), fries, and a water. BAM! The American dream wrapped in white paper. Additionally, they are open 'til 1 AM nightly, simply can't be beat.

adobe abode

So, I've become obsessed recently with real estate. I watch HGTV like a madman. It's incredible, humans live almost everywhere, and they manage to leave their personal mark on any place they call their own. I need to buy a house. I can make it mine, make it cool, make it livable. I go to thrift stores a lot lately, and I see a ton of other people's garbage that I could turn into home decor gold. Sadly, I am without employ at the moment. Wanting to own land, is fueling a larger fire under my ample butt. ME NEED CASH! No, not just cash, a real job. A job that I can show is going to keep paying me, so that some wanky financial institution will loan me the 6 figures I'll need to purchase my abode. "Abode" and "adobe" are almost the same word. They contain the same letters and share similar semantic properties, as well as part of speech. I've never noticed that before. I would love to have an adobe abode one day. An old AZ house with archways and original hardwood floors, that would be killer. Alright, now to find that income...