fairy dust

I have an affinity towards free stuff. Free is like a magical salsa or fairy dust; you sprinkle it on anything and it instantly becomes awesome. A lot of times all you have to do to get free stuff is ask. Once at a Wendy's outside Magic Mountain in CA, we got free burgers, fries, and drinks for our party of four, just by asking. Well, a wink and a smile might have helped that one along. Other times, you have to learn to work the system. I recently found a coupon for $10 off a purchase of at least $10 from Pier1 imports. Translation: I can walk in and walk out with $10 worth of wares sans cost. However, I've been down this road before. I had a similar coupon for Khol's once and couldn't find anything that I wanted for free. I'm wiser now, the magic fairy dust of free can make even mundane items awesome. Long story short, I wrangled $30 worth of wares gratis. Although, I could have gone bigger. There are two locations within 5 miles of my house. I could have quadrupled my "winnings" by visiting both locations twice daily, at opening and closing. Lesson learned, go big or go home. 

550 paracord

Free time leads to a few things: wasting time, ingenuity, laziness. My latest experience with ingenuity has to do with survival bracelets. I saw this the other day at REI and I'd seem them before, and I wanted one. What I didn't want was the $10 price tag. Swiftly I turned to google; couldn't a thrifty and crafty young man make his own survival bracelet while enjoying huge savings and taking some personal pride in his work? Even swifter came the reply, YES!!! I got my baby brother Dan onboard, and we got to work. BAM! Miller's Surplus had everything we needed (literally, they have gas masks, bayonets, MRE's). After setting up a temporary tying station and watching the instructional video on youtube a few times; Voila! Three bracelets for the low low price of...$3.70. That's with required state and local taxes people! Okay, you might question the usefulness of these bracelets in surviving; you've got a point. Let' say you're being eaten by a shark or falling from a plane without a parachute; an extra 8 feet of 550 paracord wrapped around your wrist isn't going to help you. But here are two important facts about me; I hate paying retail and I love to beat the system. Therefore, 1 fun project + baby brother Dan - $3.70 = :-)

balsa wood

There is a house in Tyler and Kylee's neighborhood selling right now for 55K, just 55 measly K! Now, this isn't a mansion that would be featured on cribs, but it's a nice modest home fit for a young chap like me. Problem is, I can't buy it. I'm not where I'd thought I'd be. Does that sound like your life? It's been ringing true a lot more for me lately. I feel that what I thought was going to happen in my life is like a sweet balsa wood plane. I put it together and sent it flying. But instead of flying swiftly and beautifully to completion and safety, someone smacked it out of the air trying to be funny! And now the fragile balsa wood wings are severely damaged. It can't fly. So I'm stuck; trying to engineer some new material from which to build the wings. But engineering ain't so bad, ask my brother-in-law or any dorky white Mormon guy down at the institute. You will recognize them immediately; they'll be wearing khaki shorts, a blah t-shirt, and either worn out white new balances or socks with sandals. Can't miss them. Style may elude these dudes, but at least they've got a career all locked-up.

"house rules"

Uno; a simple card game enjoyed by millions. I played it a lot more in childhood than in adulthood, but it's always been about getting rid of all your cards first. Once you did that, *BAM* winner winner chicken dinner, let's start a new round! Seems a little too simple and one-sided. In addition, I've seen it played countless different ways, but which way is right? Do you have to keep drawing until you get a card that you can use if you don't have a valid card to play? Do you lose your turn on a draw-two or draw-four card? Simple answer: read the rules, memorize the rules, play by the rules. After reading the rules, I want to play Uno. It could be an intense interesting card game with multiple rounds that count for something, and a healthy portion of strategy. In my experience "house rules" almost always cheapen gameplay and ruin the whole experience. Biggest example, Monopoly. Everyone hates Monopoly supposedly because it takes forever. I've finished games in under 90 minutes, multiple times. Wanna know how? We play strictly by the rules; they are quite thorough. Speaking of 90 minutes, shout out to my girls on the USWNT! Amazing game, outrageous finish, beautiful soccer! Booyah ladies!!!

Viking, anyone?...

Man, the Haka is impressive. What a display of manhood and strength! Alright, so slapping your hands and squatting doesn't seem like a huge demonstration of strength; but you can feel the power coming from these guys. Recently at a YSA Luau, just three Polynesian dudes performed it, and it was incredible. It really made me want to be Polynesian; to have a legacy of power and strength. Unfortunately, I don't have a single ounce of Polynesian blood in me. I asked my sister about our heritage; maybe we have some Viking or beefy Scandinavian heritage to lean on? "Nope, just boot-makers and razor-sharpeners", she says. What a colossal let down. Strength and power will have to be sought after and made in my bloodline; it is not a gift, simply given from my progenitors. I never know when to use a semicolon. I've used approximately four in this post and who knows if they're correct! Punctuation! Who needs it?!?! It's almost purely decorative. At this point, I say we replace those countless hours of grade school spent on punctuation, with instruction in Mandarin Chinese or UFC style mixed martial arts; I'm talking real world skills! Geez, another semicolon, that's five.

monsoon balloon

Breaking News!!! The first big monsoon rain just started at my parent's house (also my house, small technicality). It smelt so great as the rains rolled in. I saw the little grey water spots forming quickly on the cement of the front porch, and I really wanted to go out in it. So I did. It was glorious. I resisted the swift aqua assault at first, but then embraced the deluge. It was like a big outdoor shower. I wish I was naked standing in the front yard, the neighbors appreciated that I was clothed. I was wearing my sea foam green polo, seems apropos. Was it pure primal instinct to bask in the life-renewing water tonight? It felt that way. And now I won't need a real shower for another day, at least. Here's to rain in the Sonoran desert! Here's to renewal! Here's to freedom and burgertown! Burgertown can't be beat. 3.87 worth of American dollars gets you a delicious single, however you want it (I like mine with grilled onions), fries, and a water. BAM! The American dream wrapped in white paper. Additionally, they are open 'til 1 AM nightly, simply can't be beat.

adobe abode

So, I've become obsessed recently with real estate. I watch HGTV like a madman. It's incredible, humans live almost everywhere, and they manage to leave their personal mark on any place they call their own. I need to buy a house. I can make it mine, make it cool, make it livable. I go to thrift stores a lot lately, and I see a ton of other people's garbage that I could turn into home decor gold. Sadly, I am without employ at the moment. Wanting to own land, is fueling a larger fire under my ample butt. ME NEED CASH! No, not just cash, a real job. A job that I can show is going to keep paying me, so that some wanky financial institution will loan me the 6 figures I'll need to purchase my abode. "Abode" and "adobe" are almost the same word. They contain the same letters and share similar semantic properties, as well as part of speech. I've never noticed that before. I would love to have an adobe abode one day. An old AZ house with archways and original hardwood floors, that would be killer. Alright, now to find that income...